Oh Aubrey.

Dear Aubrey,
 I am often accused of being a "hater" when it comes to a lot of things you do. From your horrible choice of attire, to the way all of your songs now sound the same, to your estrogen infused words when conducting interviews. Let's get one thing straight Aubster, I AM NOT A HATER. I actually want to see you succeed! You used to be one of my favorite rappers! I loved Room for Improvement and Comeback Season, and once you dropped So Far Gone, I was convinced that rap had indeed found it's next crown holder for the next 10-15 years. The quality of music on So Far Gone was, and for the most part, still is unparalleled. Not only did you have the voice to deliver melodies with the likes of Trey Songs, but also the ability to go toe to toe with Lil Wayne, one of the greatest mixtape rappers the world has ever known. And if that wasn't enough, songs like A Little Bit and Let's Call it Off proved that you also had a special knack for blending genres.  So much potential, so much diversity, no wonder everyone from Kanye to Jay-Z was lining up to work with you. You were a prodigy.
 Then you signed to Young Money. And you know what? I couldn't even really be mad at that. I understand you wanted to stay loyal to the dude who got you the recognition you deserved. But the same way that you brought out the best in Wayne on songs like Ignorant Shit; Wayne in turn brought out the worst in you on songs like I'm Good. There were probably 3.5 good songs on Thank Me Later, the rest was Lil Wayne Lite commercial bullshit. And if Headlines is any indicator as to what Take Care has to offer, I think I'll hop the boat and take my chances with what else rap has to offer.
 With all that aside, what brings us here today isn't the music. It's these feminine ass, Tampax Pearl commercials that you keep doing, otherwise known as interviews. Dawg, you have got to chill with that shit. I understand you wanna be the "ladies rapper" and all that but L(adies)L(ove) Cool J wasn't even this soft.

If you think I'm being too hard on Aubrey, read his most recent interview HERE.

1) Dawg, shut the fuck up about Rihanna already. it's been almost two years since Thank Me Later dropped and you're still boo-hoo'ing about Rihanna like you actually had a chance. Ever since Chris Brown, everyone knows that she's been playing musical chairs with the penises of every man in Hollywood. Let it go Aubrey, let it go.

2) "The 15 or 20 seconds after a man reaches his climax is the realest moment he'll ever have in his life. And if you happen to be with somebody that isn't someone you want to converse with, you start to feeling like, I wish I was just here watching True Blood by Myself."
I see what you were trying to say here, but there are a few things realer than the 15-20 seconds after having sex with a woman. Just off the top of my head, ummm what about having a baby? You could've said you wish you were writing a song, watching the game, shit Aubrey, you could've said doodling "I Love Wayne" in your diary, but you said watching True Blood? Bye nigga. I'm done. Don't ever expect me to ever even halfway take you serious the next time you talk about "catchin' bodies like that" Young Playtex.

3) You aren't marrying Nicki Minaj. That shit was cute for like two minutes but get off her dick already.

This wasn't a part of the same interview but incase you think I'm just being too hard on Aubrey, peep the video below.

I rest my case.

The reason I'm so hard on Drake is because I know that at the end of the day, there is actual talent and possibly an ounce or two of testosterone buried deep below the surface of all the Loreal and the salmon colored sweaters. It drives me crazy that an artist that I once held in a high regard has fallen to the levels of commercial menstruation music that Aubrey has. For me, this next album is the final hail mary. If this ends up being the Thank Me Later part two that I think it'll be, there's no more hope. It will be proof that Aubster's vagina has indeed grown teeth and devoured his penis. Let's hope for the best.
Take Care.

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