about Frank Ocean's recent announcement. If you didn't take the time to read the post or if you've been living under a rock the past two weeks, Frank Ocean wrote about the first time he fell in love, and about how the person he happened to fall in love with was a man. He didn't say "I'm no longer attracted to women, I only like men", nor did he say he had sex or any physical interaction with this man, yet everyone wants to make him out to be some flaming homosexual.
This bothers me for a number of reasons, but one of the main reasons it bothers me is the fact that there is this terrible double standard in America that says it's cool for women to be homosexual or have feelings toward both sexes but if you're a man, you can only be gay or straight. I include myself in the category of people who think this way. I remember saying once that if a man has sex with a man, it's gay; there is no "bisexual." And while to a certain degree, I do still feel this way, it came to me one day, "Who the fuck am I to tell someone what their sexuality is?" Like, honestly, what gives us the right to tell someone, "Hey you can't be bisexual, you are gay because I say so. " I've faced similar instances my whole life; being told that I'm not black because I don't fit certain people's standards. I hate the mindset that society has. This mindset that people must somehow prove what they are to be viewed as such by the majority. Fuck that. No one should to prove anything to you, or anyone else. It's also funny to me that I've heard a number of women say that they've fallen in love with a woman before, or that they had sex with girl before, or have even claimed to be gay at one point in time but say that they're not gay anymore, and it's perfectly fine by most. No one questions them or tells them that they're still gay. Yet a man can do one, or all of the above, and suddenly he's closed a door that can never be opened again. How is this any different?Mirriam-Webster defines homosexual as "relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex."
Like I said earlier, all Frank Ocean admitted to was having feelings for someone of the same sex. If they did anything past what he described, we don't know. But based off of what he said, the fact that he said he fell in love with another man, I can't say that makes him either bisexual or homosexual. What I can say that it makes him is completely unbiased. I know plenty of people that claim not to be prejudice, yet they won't date someone outside of their race because "it's just not right" or "their parents would flip." I remember a white girl in middle school telling me, "You're really cute, but my parents wouldn't like if I brought someone black home. They're not racist, they just wouldn't like it." It still boggles my mind that after all these years, after all the civil battles that we've had to fight to unite all the races we have in this country, that people still allow themselves to be segregated. Such an ignorant way to live life.
I say all of that to say, what if sexuality is viewed the same way to some people? Do they not have the right to step outside of society's boundaries and do what feels right to them? I think so. Regardless of what my personal, moral, or religious beliefs are, what you feel in your heart has absolutely nothing to do with me. The number of people that I saw on twitter, facebook, and other websites, saying that they would no longer listen to Frank Ocean's music because of his sexuality was astounding to me. I don't see how your connection with someone's music can change because of their sexuality. If you don't/no longer listen to Frank Ocean because of his sexuality, yet you listen to Lil' Wayne who walks around in leggings and uggs, and kisses a grown man that he calls "Baby" and refers to as his "daddy", you need to reevaluate your life. Frank Ocean can fuck goats in the ass for all I care, I would've still bought his CD. Why? Because what people do in the privacy of their own homes is their own fucking business. Not mine, not yours, or anyone else's. Do I believe homosexuality is a sin? Yes. But guess what? So is lying, cheating, stealing, and fornicating so the majority of us are no better than those that we feel are damned to hell for all eternity. See you there friends.
If you take nothing else away from this, I'd like you to take this:
Mind your own fucking business and don't allow society to tell you what you can and can't like. Listening to a Frank Ocean album doesn't make you gay, watching sweaty men in an octagon in short shorts wrestle for hours on end with tons of other men does.
I should have the review for Channel orange up in about a week or two. I will tell you this though, it's one of the best R&B albums I've heard in a long time.
"Starfish, also known as sea stars, (they are not fish) are capable of regenerating even one arm into a whole new body. It can take anywhere from a few weeks up to a year for this to happen."
We're all starfish. There are things, people, situations, that sometimes cut us so deep that we sometimes feel like we've lost a small part of ourselves. Sometimes we lose ourselves as a result of staying in a situation for too long. Sometimes we lose ourselves because whoever we were attached too was ready to leave before we were. There are times where we may even have to remove ourselves from a situation before we were able to become detached. Whatever the case, no matter how painful it may be, we will eventually grow from these experiences. It may take a few weeks, it may take a few years, but we'll grow.