Californication.

As you probably already know, I recently returned from a trip to California for New Years and I must say, I had a blast. I saw the people I wanted to see (Siera, Symon, Kyla, Tim, Tyler the Creator), I got to eat what I wanted to eat (Roscoe's), and I got to see what I wanted to see (Venice Beach, Hollywood Blvd, Little Tokyo, Melrose). All in all I'd say it was a good trip. I'm gonna go ahead and tell you now, I took a lot of pictures with my phone (which apparently loved California so much it decided to stay), so the pictures I have aren't the best. Hopefully my story telling makes up for what I'm not able to show in pictures.

My mom dropped me off at DFW airport at about 6:30 am which gave me just enough time to get groped by security and make it to my first flight which departed at 7am for Phoenix, AZ. 

I really wanted to start my new book, Diary by Chuck Palahniuk, but this infant shithead up front was not having it. I swear that kid must've cried the entire flight. Thank God for iPods.

Thankfully the second flight, from Phoenix to LA, was much quieter. It's amazing how hilly the state of California is. Literally, everything is on a fucking hill. 

Once I landed in LA, Siera scooped me from the airport. It was so cool seeing her in her "element", being all "cool trendy cali girl" and shit. Since the person I was staying with wouldn't be home for a while, Siera and I played Driving Ms Daisy for a few hours. In that span, I FINALLY got to meet Cole

and even though he doesn't quite resemble the baby from The Incredibles the way he once did, he's still a cute kid. He even talked to me a few times! So full of life and adventure, just as I'd imagined him. After taking Cole to the park, Siera took me to this cool place called Oggie's which somehow managed to have the worst service, good pizza, and the best wings I've ever had all in one place. We sill had about two hours to kill after Oggie's so we went to see The Sitter, which was actually a lot better than I expected. After the movie, Siera took me to Fullerton, where I would be staying while I was in California.

This is my friend Kyla, the person who so kindly took an entire week out of her busy schedule to be my tour guide. Kyla and I got a few drinks at Yardhouse and that was about it for night one. You wouldn't think that a two hour time difference is really that big of a difference but I promise you I took a nap almost everyday at 6pm and I was almost falling asleep by 11pm. 

The following night, Kyla, her roommate Lisa, Lisa's boyfriend, and I all went to the Commonwealth Lounge in Fullerton and got white boy wasted.

 I remembered that my friend Tim, that I knew from College Station, now lives in California. I texted him on a whim to see what he was up to and he was actually able to come hangout! It was cool to see him doing well and living it up in Cali. Tim is by far, one of the coolest people I know. After that it gets a little blurry but I remember almost fighting a creeper and losing my phone on the cab ride home along with the picture that Tim and I took (Hence the shirtless river pic above).

The next day Kyla took me to Venice Beach. It's an amazing place full of life, love, and lots of crazy people. The first thing that I noticed were the beach houses. They were amazing. 

California has some of the most random weather that I've ever encountered. We left the house at about 2:30 and it was about 76 degrees. Upon our arrival at Venice Beach (about an hour or so later), the temperature had dropped to about 55 degrees. The fuck. There were a lot of cool things to see.

There were "medical" marijuana stands everywhere.

Muscle Beach.

Yes. He's stepping on glass.

This was an area that had a lot of cool graffiti.

Dope sand sculptor.

After all the walking we did on the beach, I was starving so we scooped Symon and headed to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. When I tell you that Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles was one of the biggest reasons I came to California, I'm not kidding. I had always heard about this place and I wanted to try it for so long. It definitely lived up to the hype. 

As stated earlier, I was starving, so I ordered a #3 and man was that a lot of food.

This place by far has the best waffles and the best chicken that I've ever tasted in my life. The waffles are are like big cinnamon pillows of goodness and the butter is amazing. The chicken is perfectly crispy on the outside, yet tender and juicy on the inside. I know for a lot of people this combination is a bit odd but don't knock it till you try it. I promise you'll love it. With a lot of will power and help from the man upstairs I was able to conquer the monster that is the #3. $16 well spent. After the last supper, Kyla and I partied at Newport Beach. 

New Year's Day was pretty dope. I got to see my Uncle, who so kindly loaned me his backup phone that I'm still using, my good friend Brandon, his friend Estelle, Symon and her friend Alexis, in Little Tokyo for some sushi. Afterward, Uncle Scotty and I went to Hollywood for a bit.

New Year's Night was pretty chill. Definitely wasn't the crazy packed, LA club "EVERYBODY SAY HOOOO!", money raining from the sky, gunshots in the air, threesome with models type party night that  I thought it would be. But it was definitely fun. We had a few people over, a few bottles of champagne, lots of beer, and lots of liquor, and a lot of fun. Hello 2012, Nice to meet You.

My last day in LA was bittersweet. It was nice to return home and see my family, but it was kinda sad to leave an area I had began to adore. To leave a way of life where everyday was an adventure, everything, and everyone was new. Siera was my chauffeur to my Uncle's hotel but before we went there, we took a drive down Melrose, and I'll be damned if I didn't see the coolest fucking mural I've ever seen in my entire life. If you follow my blog and/or Twitter, you know that I have recently fallen in thug love with A$AP Rocky. He has the hardest, coolest, drug dealin'ist music out right now. Shit makes me want to rock gold fronts and braids and smoke weed till my lips fall off.  Anyway, while driving down Melrose, I look to my right, and I see this shit right here:

You know what, maybe I'm the only person who finds this dope as fuck, but honestly, I don't care. I tried really hard to contain my excitement, but Gahdamnit I wish I would've spoke the fuck up and got a picture with this shit. This remains my only regret of the entire trip, and will probably go down as one of my life's biggest regret. Like, I'm pretty sure ony my deathbed I'll wonder, "why the fuck didn't I get a picture with that A$AP mural?" And then I'll die shortly after. Anyway, since Siera's favorite burger place was closed, and I wouldn't stop raving about Roscoe's, we wound up going there.

So, there we are (Siera and I) walking into Roscoe's, walk right past the counter where you pay, we sit down, get our menus, no big deal. All of a sudden I look up  and I see an afro that looks like an oddly familiar afro. Kinda like... Taco's (from Odd Future) afro o_O. Then I look to his right and I spot an African American fellow in a green hat. Kinda like... the green Supreme hat that Tyler the Creator wears o_O! And then I see a pudgy gentleman to the right of the guy in the green hat, who looks a lot like Jasper Dolphin. That's when I get a better look and realize, holy fuck, Tyler the Creator is like, 12 feet away from me. After watching one fan approach Tyler for a picture and get seemingly rejected, I pulled out my phone and took a picture. And there you have it people, in all its 2.0 megapixel glory, Tyler, Taco, and Jasper Dolphin. Motherfuck the camera on this Fred Flintstone ass phone, for real. Straight up.

Anyway, after another great meal at Roscoe's, Siera and I said our goodbyes and I was picked up by my Uncle who gave me a ride to the airport the next morning. A word of advice, don't wear a necklace that resembles a bomb, missile, bullet, or anything of the sort when traveling by plane. You'll have the grandest conversations with TSA about it. With one flight to El Paso, and another to Dallas, I was finally back home.

And there you have it. My Cali trip in a nutshell. Since I've been back, people keep asking me if I would ever move to California. As much as I liked it out there, it was way too packed for me. There were so many people everywhere, a l l  t h e  t i m e. To me, California was like a bigger Austin. And everyone knows I'm an Austin boy at heart. It was fun Cali, but you can't be my main bitch. Maybe my side bitch.

Ha. Goodnight.