in about 15 minutes i turn 25. i'd be lying if i said that i was looking forward to it. i've always said that i feel like 25 is the real 21. people act like you are an adult at 21 but really, it's just another 18. between the ages of 21-24 you're treated like an adult, yet you're still allowed to make mistakes because you're still a young dumb kid. you don't know anything. when you're 25, you should know better. i guess the real reason i'm scared is because i feel like i waited a long time to start making the mistakes that a lot of people make when their in their late teens/early twenties. as stupid as this may sound, i've always told myself as long as i didn't get anyone pregnant or get into too much debt, i'd be okay. and while i still find this to be true for the most part, life is finally catching up to me. though i'm going back to school, i feel so far behind. a lot of people i graduated with are married and have actual careers already, and i'm still fighting to get there. as far as relationships go i've pretty much messed up things in that department and i don't know if that can ever be fixed. i'm in no rush to get married, but i dont want to be that person who has kids when he's almost 40. i feel like i'm babbling, and i probably am, i guess what i'm really trying to say is that for first time in my life i feel anxious. i feel a sense of urgency. i feel like i have a lot of responsibilities. for the longest time that's been in the back of mind but i've never said it. until now.
no one can be Peter Pan forever.
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