Crazy would be an understatement when it comes to describing the past few months. I’ve gone from being happier than I’ve ever been to being the saddest that I’ve ever been, to just being numb to everything. I think my tear ducts have had the most action that they’ve seen since my childhood and my brain probably has the physique of a Olympic sprinter. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted. I’m just ready for some form of consistency. I would be lying if I said that I was completely ready to pick up and move on, after all you can’t just kill feelings that were so real with the snap of a finger. It hurts for someone to tell you that something that was once so real… so tangible to both of us, no longer exists. I feel like Jim Carey in the Truman show. Everything is collapsing and I have nothing but a measly keyboard to shield myself from all the rubble.
What’s done is done. What’s been said has been said. I don’t think you’re a terrible person. I still care about you and always will but I hope you have learned that you aren’t as brave as you think you are. It shouldn’t take someone that you claim to care about, to pull your teeth to get answers that you already have but are too scared to say. I don’t know what the future holds for me and you, but I hope you learn to verbalize what you feel whether it’s for my sake or for the sake of someone else. I hope that you will one day learn to take a chance, that everything isn’t going to come with an instruction manual. If you are waiting to be able to just have everything work exactly how you want it, to know for certain that everything will workout, you’re going to be waiting the rest of your life. Good luck in all of your future endeavors, I'm proud of you. I know you’ll do well with wherever life takes you. You've inspired me to make a few changes of my own. I’m always here if you need me, I understand this is a stressful time in your life.
I hope that you learn that the possibility of success always outweighs the possibility of failure.