My relationships always seem to change with the seasons. Always. Sometimes I wonder if this is the same for everyone or just me. Some strange timer that God put on my life, where each year doesn't really flow into the next but instead stops quarter way through and has to be ejected, turned over and re-inserted to continue to the next phase. I wish there was a system restore button on life. A button I could push that would magically transport me back to a point earlier in the relationship. Before things got complicated, before I lied to you. If I could I would go back to when things were as equally new as they were familiar and live in that moment. Before your heart was broken. Before I became so cold. Things are so different now. I don't know if it can ever be "normal" again. I find myself thinking of you often. Wondering where you are. What you're doing. If your heart is becoming more calloused from our situation.